I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
