Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
