How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
