So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
