He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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