Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
