i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
