just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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