who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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