So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
