At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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