The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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