Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
