fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize