Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
