before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
