Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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