is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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