So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
