we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They have beer where we have blood.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
