At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
