And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
