Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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