Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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