I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
