two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
