So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
