Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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