I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
