dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize