A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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