Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
