Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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