Its about making memories worth repressing
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
