i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
