i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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