can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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