My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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