There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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