If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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