brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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