clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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