we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
