well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
