My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
