I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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