I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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