can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
