he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
