Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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