we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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