just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize