I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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