i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
