Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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