Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize