Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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