Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
