Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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