Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
