I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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