Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
