If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
