i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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