I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
