There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
