I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
