I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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