I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dick very happy bro
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
