I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
