And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
