his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
