PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
