You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
