there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
