god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
